I came across this blog after researching about TTUAC. I have a 17mth old daughter and I met a mom at the park who was very passionate about this book. I decided to do a little research on it and it is definetly not the way I would discipline my child. I can understand the occasional spanking for disobedience but this book seems way to extreme. It is appalling to think that alot of people are brain washed by this sort of parenting.

Tulip Girl, thank you so much for quoting from the Pearls’ book … I have NEVER read any of their things … nor do I ever intend to do so

I agree with Sharon that certain discipline techniques work with certain children.

On three separate instances when my children were growing up, I spanked (swatted?) my children with a newspaper (so as not to hurt them but cause noise) three times. It was effective and helped my children stop whatever behavior that was inappropriate so much so that they did not do it again. (Frankly, I cannot remember what those instances were, but my children assure me that those three instances were absolutely necessary.)

There are many, many, many other options to use for discipline. If at all possible, it is very important to tailor make the discipline to fit the personality and learning style of the child (just like in homeschooling) … it is not a “one-size-fits-all” thing. Rightly or wrongly, I have always held that the goal of discipline is to teach something and to learn from a mistake/sin/error/misdeed/whatever.

On PVC pipe. . .

I have not read all of the Pearls’ materials. I have not seen PVC pipe mentioned by them, that I recall.

However, among the implements they do endorse include:

Quote: “What instrument would I use?

As a rule, do not use your hand. Hands are for loving and helping. If an adult swings his or her hand fast enough to cause pain to the surface of the skin, there is a danger of damaging bones and joints. The most painful nerves are just under the surface of the skin. A swift swat with a light, flexible instrument will sting without bruising or causing internal damage. Many people are using a section of ¼ inch plumber’s supply line as a spanking instrument. It will fit in your purse or hang around you neck. You can buy them for under $1.00 at Home Depot or any hardware store. They come cheaper by the dozen and can be widely distributed in every room and vehicle. Just the high profile of their accessibility keeps the kids in line.

Quote: “. . .The hand on a diapered bottom is useless as a spanking, but effective in causing permanent damage to the spine. There is no surface pain to the child thus whipped. Any pain would be deep inside, similar to a fall or a car wreck. Any spanking, to effectively reinforce instruction, must cause pain, but the most pain is on the surface of bare skin where the nerves are located. A surface sting will cause sufficient pain, with no injury or bruising. Select your instrument according to the child’s size. For the under one year old, a little, ten- to twelve-inch long, willowy branch (striped of any knots that might break the skin) about one-eighth inch diameter is sufficient. Sometimes alternatives have to be sought. A one-foot ruler, or its equivalent in a paddle, is a sufficient alternative. For the larger child, a belt or larger tree branch is effective.”

Quote: “Use your own judgment as to what is effective. I found five to ten licks usually sufficient. . . .A general rule is to continue the disciplinary action until the child is surrendered. . . .”

When it comes to the Pearls, the “issue” is not spanking or not spanking. The issue is a combination of dominance in place of discipline, and perfectionism in place of reliance upon Christ.

About discipline and children, my people have a saying “there is a child for spanking and there is a child for speaking; no two children are the same”.

I had a happy and rich childhood… but my parents (my dad especially) would have been less frustrated if he had realised that I was not a child for spanking. The more I got spanked, the more rebellious I became. Once I skipped school for half day and when my dad found out, he beat me. The very next day I didn’t show up at school at all. He gave up. Of course if he had just called me and spoken to me gently, I would have been sooo good – well, almost. He did eventually figure that out. (I’m the eldest so I was kinda the experiment).

My cousin on then other hand is a child for spanking. That is the only thing that worked! You talk to her, you scold her, you advice…you try EVERYTHING and she still goes her way until she sees the switch…she usually doesn’t get spanked because once she feels there is a possibility of that happening, she eventually behaves.

However, while I will not presume to tell anyone how to raise their children, so long as it does not get abusive, I have also determined not to use the physical rod. If things get so bad, I’ll go on prayer and fasting. lol

Extremism turns into fanaticism and its not the way to win anyone.