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Archive for August 27th, 2008

The End of an Era

Tomorrow night marks the end of an era in our family. My husband has worked nights since before we were married eight years ago. During that time, he has gotten married, attended school full time for a BA in Philosophy, moved halfway across the country to attend graduate school, lost his first child to a terminal condition, had his wife crack up, get pregnant with the next, moved back to CA, had his wife have such a nervous breakdown that she had to go on SDI for almost a year, see his first son be born, find a new, full time job, move three more times after the move home, watch my dad die from pancreatic cancer, have another baby, and start a new BS degree in Civil Engineering. All the while, working nights and surviving (barely) on 3-5 hours of sleep in any given 24 hour period.

In other words, my darling, courageous, strong, patient, LONG-SUFFERING husband has been a walking zombie for a long time.

And tomorrow night, he will be free to join the daylight once again. Tomorrow night is his last time working at night, hopefully forever. I will have my husband home, at night, to do all the great things that families do together when they come together after a long day’s work. We’ll be able to eat dinner together. We’ll go to bed at the same time and be able to sleep in the same bed… at the same time… every night of the week! He’ll work with me to put the kids to bed so maybe, just maybe, they’ll have a more normal, defined routine. I’ll be able to snuggle up with him and watch a movie or Scrubs or one of my crazy reality shows that I like so much. Yippee!

You may ask how we will live. Well, patriocentrists beware! This woman has found herself a JOB! Outside the home! Yes, dear friends, I am serving as my husband’s helper suitable, meeting his greatest and most pressing need (namely, a normal schedule so that he can finish school and get a real job). I know he never thought I’d do it. And yet, what is an ezer for if she’s not one who will fight fiercely to build up and protect and strengthen the man to whom God has given her? How could I look at my husband and tell him that I was choosing housewifery (a NOBLE, AMAZING, EXHAUSTING, WONDERFUL calling) over being his helper suitable? I am my husband’s helper before I am his “domestic engineer”. I am my husband’s helper even before I am mother to my children.

When I thought of it in those terms, how could I do any different?

Do I give him Lydia Sherman’s answer to one’s husband when he asks her to go out and work? “Sure! After I finish all the laundry, cooking, sewing, decorating, cleaning, dusting, ironing, raising the children etc” (Now, this is not a direct quote, but it is the gist of something she said at the Christian Homemaking Conference back in 2007). Or do I put my own desires aside and do what is best for him and serve him in this way?

And for those scoffers out there, my children remain the care of my husband during the day and family members when he is in class.

Am I in this for a career? Certainly not. The day my husband gets a full time day job, I am OUTTA THERE! Do I enjoy my job? Oh yeah! I work for a great agency that gives referrals for non-profit social and health and human services agencies to people who call the toll-free number. I help homeless people find shelter. I help people pay find a way to pay their rent. I help people find food. I help people find work. I help people find counseling. I help people find domestic violence shelters. I help people find suicide prevention services. I point people to churches that can help them all day long. Do I enjoy my job? You bet I do!

This is a huge adjustment for me and my family. I haven’t worked full time since before my son was born. I have to rearrange my household tasks to accommodate the new schedule. Its taking some adjustment, for all of us, but I believe that God will bless us for our obedience to this particular call that he has placed on our family.

So, all this is to ask that you pray for us. Times are going to be tough. Prices are going up and, unfortunately, salaries are not. I need discipline. Anyway, congratulations to my husband! I’ll be glad to have you around! LOL!

ETA: Any negative comments about my husband of any kind will be instantaneously deleted with no explanation. I defy even the most ardent entrepreneurial patriocentrist agrarian to even attempt to work half as hard as my husband has to provide for his family.

EDITED AGAIN TO ADD: I have nothing whatsoever against having a career… I just don’t want one 🙂

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