Archive for the ‘Life’ Category

So Doug Phillips thinks its okay to let women die in order to “save” children who cannot live outside the womb and never will.  I’m sure his eight children would really appreciate his irrational and ungodly position if his wife was ever faced with a terminal diagnosis for her unborn baby that also posed a significant risk to her life.

Tonight, I am very thankful that God is my judge.  To Doug Phillips, I am no better than a murderer and guilty of child-sacrifice.  I would never make it past the gates of Mr. Phillips’ heaven.  I am thankful that God shows mercy where Phillips shows none.  I am thankful for God’s love and for the love shown to me by the people of God.  I am thankful for my priest who listened to my story and gave me comfort, and who values life more than anyone else I’ve ever seen.

And I am very thankful that Panagia is holding my child in her arms and that she is nurturing my beloved little one until I can be with her again.

“Remember, O Lord, Lover of Mankind the souls of Thy departed servants, infants who died accidentally in the wombs of Orthodox mothers from unknown cause, either from difficult birth, or from some carelessness and who therefore did not receive the Mister of Holy Baptism. Baptize them, O Lord, in the sea of Thy compassions, and save them by Thine inexpressible grace. Amen.”


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Richard Abanes recently wrote an article called Don’t Believe Everything You Read… which I mostly agreed with.   From what I have seen, it seems that those who engage is such behavior are on both sides of all the major divisive issues in the church and many of his points are valid for us all.  Mr. Abanes says in his article:

And such attacks are not just limited to simple assaults on other points of view, but penetrate into the realm of questioning another person’s Christianity, misrepresenting the faith of others, and deliberately seeking to destroy the reputation of various public figures (i.e., fellow believers).

I couldn’t agree more!  Since we started the WWF blog I have had my very salvation questioned over my disagreement with the hyper Patriarchy model of marriage and Christian living.  We have made a very concerted effort on this blog to always attack ideas, and never the character of those whom we believe to be brothers and sisters in Christ.  Sadly, the same courtesy has not always been extended in our direction.  I know of one website where my homeschooling blog was pulled into the fray and listed under the heading “Troublemaker”.

Where I disagree with Mr. Abanes is here:

This “cult,” which I have termed the “Cult of Online Discernment Ministries (ODMs),” has demonstrated that its real mission/ministry is the destruction of fellow Christians with whom they disagree. Ironically, they do it under the guise of defending the faith against cults and false doctrine via apologetics/discernment. This has caused great division within the church—unnecessary division because their attacks are based on things that have NOTHING to do with doctrinal teachings or whether or not a person is in the church. They base their attacks on:

– political views,
– methods of preaching,
– preferred styles of music/dress,
– different perspectives on various non-essentials of the faith,
– positions on eschatology,
– public friendships/associations they enjoy with certain believers/unbelievers
– certain verbiage used to communicate biblical truths

I believe that it is vital that Christians continue to discuss issues which are important to them.  And while I agree that many of those subjects aren’t subjects that should call another’s salvation into question, I think it’s very important to discuss it when any group is teaching that you must believe as they do in regards to them, to be Christians.  For example: a church where women wear dresses doesn’t bother me.  A church that teaches that if you don’t wear a skirt at all times you are not a true Christian woman, is in error, and it’s worth talking about here.

I appreciate Mr. Abanes’s promise that judgment will one day come for those who have been responsible for saying untrue things (since I’ve certainly been on the receiving end of such treatment on the ‘net), but I hope that instead, that people find peace and forgiveness.  I hope that one day, those with whom I have disagreed will meet me in heaven and we will embrace as brothers and sisters with a deep understanding of the issues that once divided us.

I have hope for us as a body of believers.  I do not support rumors, gossip, or slander.  But I do support the honest dialog necessary for creating a better understanding of what it is we believe, and why.

Edited to Add: Mr. Abanes has written a second piece to follow the first, which largely cleared up the few issues I had with the first piece.  In it he says:

Let me be very clear: THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH ACCURATELY, LOVINGLY, BIBLICALLY, AND TRUTHFULLY defending the faith and the Gospel by pointing out the errors of public teachers/preachers (or churches and organizations). We are not only to defend our own personal faith when asked (1 Peter 3:15), but when necessary, we are to preach the word of God, as well as “reprove, rebuke, exhort, with great patience and instruction” (2 Tim. 4:2).

I couldn’t agree more!  He also says:

The bottom line for them seems to be that if a person does not share THEIR exact mindset regarding one or more of the above, then that person is unregenerate, heretical, unsaved, lost, in need of repentance, apostate, or a deceiver. Such an attitude, of course, tramples a number of biblical verses that deal with freedom(s) in Christ (Rom. 14; Gal. 2:4) and passages indicating that Jesus is our Lord/Master before whom we stand or fall (Rom. 14:4). Also relevant are Christ’s words: “‘If you abide in my word, then you are truly disciples of Mine; and you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free’” (John 8:31-32).

I felt like shouting, “Amen!” when I read that paragraph.  It’s what has frustrated me to no end with the Hyper Patriarchy movement.  To have my salvation questioned because of extrabiblical requirements placed on women in particular and families in general, has been disheartening and frustrating.  Thank you, Mr. Abanes for speaking out.  I just hope that your target audience hears it.

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What To Come Home To?

Jennifer/Cally and I have been talking about what we wanted this blog to be.  She really wanted it to be about finding what she believes in terms of women’s roles within the home and within the church.  I really wanted it to be a place where I could explore some of the paths I started down as a Christian woman, and try to figure out where it is I need to go now.

But as many sayings explain to us, plans aren’t always what you end up with.  And in the end, God gave us both pressing issues that needed more of our time.  For me, it’s been keeping my family going while caring for everyone and meeting the needs of two sons with Autism.  For Jennifer it’s been working full time while her husband finishes school.

As Jennifer said in the last post, we want to write, but to tell you the truth, I’m flummoxed.  My walk with Christ sometimes involves my intellect, and I have those periods in which I’m focused on learning about him.  Right now I’m in a place where I’m required to exercise my blind faith.  I have no idea what’s coming next or how we’re going to get through it.  So, I have to put everything in God’s hands and trust that He will see us through.  I wish I could say that was easy.  But I’m a mom.  I’m used to having control over things.  Because if I don’t, who will?  So, how do I write thoughtful essays about Christian feminism?

So, for me, at the moment, this blog is a place to talk about finding my way back to the core beliefs of my faith.  What is it that makes me a Christian, much less a Whitewashed Feminist?  How do I hold on to my faith when I’m scared, or hurt, or worried?

I used to worry that coming back to the basics of my faith would show me for the immature Christian I think I am.  But now I think that every Christian needs to reexamine the basics of the faith regularly to stay connected with them.

At this point, as I come home to Whitewashed Feminists, I’d like to ask anyone still reading, what would you like this blog to be about?  What would you like to discuss?

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Another Attack On Life

Years ago a woman who went to my church gave birth to a daughter who was missing part of her heart.  Her daughter’s life was precarious and nothing short of a heart transplant would save her life.  Sadly, for her to live, another baby somewhere had to die.  The little girl got her heart and her life was saved.  It was a bittersweet victory.

When I joined the pro-life cause 14 years ago, I thought it was simple.  Being Pro-life meant that I valued life, and opposed elective abortion.  Since that time the issue has been clouded on many fronts.

Now I have found that some within the Pro-life community oppose organ donation because they believe the idea of brain death to be a “hoax“.  What I’ve found shared around the internet is a lot of misinformation on organ donation and brain death and I wanted to take this opportunity to correct it.  You see, with organ donation one persons death, though tragic, can save the lives of others.  And I believe that it’s pro-life to see several lives continue instead of end.

Brain death is not a hoax.  It isn’t something that doctors guess at.

Declaring someone brain dead involves no subjective or arbitrary judgments. Brain death is a clinical, measurable condition whose formal definition emerged after the President’s Commission for the Study of Ethical Issues in Medicine embraced brain death in 1981, when Ronald Reagan was president.

The electroencephalogram (EEG) of someone who is brain dead shows no electrical activity, and an injection of mild radioactive isotopes into the brain reveals the absolute absence of blood flow. People who are brain dead also have no gag response. Their pupils do not respond to light and they do not blink when a swab is run across their eyeballs. They do not respond to pain, and in the absence of signals from the brain, their lungs have stopped working—only the ventilator keeps them “breathing.”


A DNR/DNI order is not obtained to make it easier to kill people and take their organs.  Even in the population I work with I encourage people to remain a “full code” unless they are certain about their feelings on the subject.  A DNR/DNI means Do Not Resuscitate/Do Not Intubate.  Perhaps people have an issue with this because they are unaware of how traumatic it is to the body to be resuscitated or intubated.  It’s not pretty.  For someone who is very old or very injured resuscitation and intubation will often do nothing more than buy a little time, and it’s often not worth it.  And I don’t say that to be cold at all.  I say that because if someone is going to die, it is a far more peaceful death if their ribs aren’t broken and their body not battered by what had to be done to bring them back from their last death.  And truly, that’s when one uses a DRN/DNI.  At death.  When they stop breathing and their heart stops beating.  Having a DNR/DNI does not hasten death.

The idea that a beating heart is equal to life may make things very easy and black and white for some.  But it ignores reality and can sometimes serve to thwart the very principle it seeks to serve.  Babies and their mother’s dying is not pro-life.  Having the accident victim and the person hoping for a new heart die is not pro-life.  Certainly medical ethics must be observed.  But, speaking as a medical professional (even though I don’t work in this particular area), we are not in the business of ending lives.  And if someone somewhere was not totally ethical, that should not reflect on the process of organ donation as a whole.

I am an organ donor.  I would hope that if I were to die unexpectedly, that my death would have meaning in the lives I might save.  And I’m a donor because I know that if my child needed a heart, lung or kidney, cornea, etc.  I’d pray that someone would donate to them.

Whether or not you wish to be a donor, please educate yourself.  It’s worth it.

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Why Women Should Vote

Hat-tip to Kathleen for sending us this one!


This is the story of our Grandmothers and Great-grandmothers; they lived only 90 years ago.

Remember, it was not until 1920 that women were granted the right to go to the polls and vote.

The women were innocent and defenseless, but they were jailed nonetheless for picketing the White House, carrying signs asking for the vote.

(Lucy Burns)

And by the end of the night, they were barely alive. Forty prison guards wielding clubs and their warden’s blessing went on a rampage against the 33 women wrongly convicted of ‘obstructing sidewalk traffic.’ They beat Lucy Burns, chained her hands to the cell bars above her head and left her hanging for the night, bleeding and gasping for air.

(Dora Lewis)

They hurled Dora Lewis into a dark cell, smashed her head against an iron bed and knocked her out cold. Her cell mate, Alice Cosu, thought Lewis was dead and suffered a heart attack. Additional affidavits describe the guards grabbing, dragging, beating, choking, slamming, pinching, twisting and kicking the women.

Thus unfolded the ‘Night of Terror’ on Nov. 15, 1917, when the warden at the Occoquan Workhouse in Virginia ordered his guards to teach a lesson to the suffragists imprisoned there because they dared to picket Woodrow Wilson’s White House for the right to vote.

For weeks, the women’s only water came from an open pail. Their food–all of it colorless slop–was infested with worms.

(Alice Paul)

When one of the leaders, Alice Paul, embarked on a hunger strike, they tied her to a chair, forced a tube down her throat and poured liquid into her until she vomited. She was tortured like this for weeks until word was smuggled out to the press.

So, refresh my memory. Some women won’t vote this year because- -why, exactly? We have carpool duties? We have to get to work? Our vote doesn’t matter? It’s raining?

Last week, I went to a sparsely attended screening of HBO’s new movie ‘Iron Jawed Angels.’ It is a graphic depiction of the battle these women waged so that I could pull the curtain at the polling booth and have my say. I am ashamed to say I needed the reminder.

All these years later, voter registration is still my passion. But the actual act of voting had become less personal for me, more rote. Frankly, voting often felt more like an obligation than a privilege. Sometimes it was inconvenient.

My friend Wendy, who is my age and studied women’s history, saw the HBO movie, too. When she stopped by my desk to talk about it, she looked angry. She was–with herself. ‘One thought kept coming back to me as I watched that movie,’ she said.

‘What would those women think of the way I use, or don’t use, my right to vote? All of us take it for granted now, not just younger women, but those of us who did seek to learn.’ The right to vote, she said, had become valuable to her ‘all over again.’ HBO released the movie on video and DVD . I wish all history, social studies and government teachers would include the movie in their curriculum I want it shown on Bunco night, too, and anywhere else women gather. I realize this isn’t our usual idea of socializing, but we are not voting in the numbers that we should be, and I think a little shock therapy is in order.

It is jarring to watch Woodrow Wilson and his cronies try to persuade a psychiatrist to declare Alice Paul insane so that she could be permanently institutionalized. And it is inspiring to watch the doctor refuse. Alice Paul was strong, he said, and brave. That didn’t make her crazy.

The doctor admonished the men: ‘Courage in women is often mistaken for insanity.’

We need to get out and vote and use this right that was fought so hard for by these very courageous women. Whether you vote democratic, republican or independent party – remember to vote.

History is being made.

Accuracy verified by www.snopes.com

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The End of an Era

Tomorrow night marks the end of an era in our family. My husband has worked nights since before we were married eight years ago. During that time, he has gotten married, attended school full time for a BA in Philosophy, moved halfway across the country to attend graduate school, lost his first child to a terminal condition, had his wife crack up, get pregnant with the next, moved back to CA, had his wife have such a nervous breakdown that she had to go on SDI for almost a year, see his first son be born, find a new, full time job, move three more times after the move home, watch my dad die from pancreatic cancer, have another baby, and start a new BS degree in Civil Engineering. All the while, working nights and surviving (barely) on 3-5 hours of sleep in any given 24 hour period.

In other words, my darling, courageous, strong, patient, LONG-SUFFERING husband has been a walking zombie for a long time.

And tomorrow night, he will be free to join the daylight once again. Tomorrow night is his last time working at night, hopefully forever. I will have my husband home, at night, to do all the great things that families do together when they come together after a long day’s work. We’ll be able to eat dinner together. We’ll go to bed at the same time and be able to sleep in the same bed… at the same time… every night of the week! He’ll work with me to put the kids to bed so maybe, just maybe, they’ll have a more normal, defined routine. I’ll be able to snuggle up with him and watch a movie or Scrubs or one of my crazy reality shows that I like so much. Yippee!

You may ask how we will live. Well, patriocentrists beware! This woman has found herself a JOB! Outside the home! Yes, dear friends, I am serving as my husband’s helper suitable, meeting his greatest and most pressing need (namely, a normal schedule so that he can finish school and get a real job). I know he never thought I’d do it. And yet, what is an ezer for if she’s not one who will fight fiercely to build up and protect and strengthen the man to whom God has given her? How could I look at my husband and tell him that I was choosing housewifery (a NOBLE, AMAZING, EXHAUSTING, WONDERFUL calling) over being his helper suitable? I am my husband’s helper before I am his “domestic engineer”. I am my husband’s helper even before I am mother to my children.

When I thought of it in those terms, how could I do any different?

Do I give him Lydia Sherman’s answer to one’s husband when he asks her to go out and work? “Sure! After I finish all the laundry, cooking, sewing, decorating, cleaning, dusting, ironing, raising the children etc” (Now, this is not a direct quote, but it is the gist of something she said at the Christian Homemaking Conference back in 2007). Or do I put my own desires aside and do what is best for him and serve him in this way?

And for those scoffers out there, my children remain the care of my husband during the day and family members when he is in class.

Am I in this for a career? Certainly not. The day my husband gets a full time day job, I am OUTTA THERE! Do I enjoy my job? Oh yeah! I work for a great agency that gives referrals for non-profit social and health and human services agencies to people who call the toll-free number. I help homeless people find shelter. I help people pay find a way to pay their rent. I help people find food. I help people find work. I help people find counseling. I help people find domestic violence shelters. I help people find suicide prevention services. I point people to churches that can help them all day long. Do I enjoy my job? You bet I do!

This is a huge adjustment for me and my family. I haven’t worked full time since before my son was born. I have to rearrange my household tasks to accommodate the new schedule. Its taking some adjustment, for all of us, but I believe that God will bless us for our obedience to this particular call that he has placed on our family.

So, all this is to ask that you pray for us. Times are going to be tough. Prices are going up and, unfortunately, salaries are not. I need discipline. Anyway, congratulations to my husband! I’ll be glad to have you around! LOL!

ETA: Any negative comments about my husband of any kind will be instantaneously deleted with no explanation. I defy even the most ardent entrepreneurial patriocentrist agrarian to even attempt to work half as hard as my husband has to provide for his family.

EDITED AGAIN TO ADD: I have nothing whatsoever against having a career… I just don’t want one 🙂

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This comment by Corrie was so good that I thought it deserved to be its own post:

Why are some so obsessed with who is over who [whom?]?

In a marriage between two mature and Christlike individuals, I just cannot understand why there needs to be a “tie breaker” or a boss/underling relationship.

It would seem to be that people who are mature and Christlike would be obsessed with being a servant to others.

If Christ came to serve and not to be served, isn’t that the example both men AND women should be following?  Are we above our Master?

And no one here is against domesticity, doilies, lace, dresses, cooking, or being Queen of their home.  In fact, the ladies that I know personally are into a lot of these things.

But, being domestic is not my role, calling or sole purpose as a woman.  That is something I do.  Just like mowing the lawn and taking out the garbage.  That is my purpose, as a woman, in being created.

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